Do you know what the secret to a happy child is?
LISTENING.
And there are two ingredients to real listening: Love and Non-Reaction
Let me explain, love alone is not enough to raise a happy child...
If it was that there would be a lot fewer defiant and disobedient children.
If you're reading this then it's not love you're lacking, but Non-Reaction.
The secret key that parents need to cultivate is "Non-Reaction".
What this means is that you do not "react"?
Webster's dictionary defines reaction as: "resistance or opposition to a force, influence, or movement"
Here's another definition that reminds me of what happens to many parents...
"bodily response to or activity aroused by a stimulus:
an action induced by vital resistance to another action;
...depression or exhaustion due to excessive exertion or stimulation"
Does this last line sound familiar to any mothers and fathers you know?
Reaction is basically what happens when two forces collide.
In this case the two forces are often Parent vs. Child.
The end result is usually an exhausted parent and an unhappy child.
Instead of reacting to your child's defiance - be like water.
Instead of reacting to your child when he or she is suddenly testing you,
STOP and become aware of what's really behind your child's actions.
Once you do, you'll usually see that your child has no malicious intent to bother you,
but instead their actions are due to one of three reasons:
3 Reasons Why Kids Mis-Behave
1) They're lacking information - like a toddler doesn't have the knowledge and
forethought that they should not track muddy boots on the carpet.
2) They have some tension in their body due to some stress - like a child who
gets stressed from being scolded and acts out afterwards by hurting a sibling.
3) They have a genuine need - like they're hungry, tired, or maybe they haven't had
enough physical affection that day.
Cultivate Non-Reaction
Not only will you feel much more peaceful and
less stressed in your life -
but you'll find that you'll have a much more cooperative and happy child,
by listening instead of reacting.
Children don't listen, they model.
Your child will show you the same respect you show your child.If you "tell" them to listen, but don't listen to them yourself, they will defy you.
But if you listen to your child, he or she will if you listen to you too.
This information is taken from the Guide to a Happy Child, for more information or to buy the Happy Child Guide, go to www.childrens-audiobooks.net
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